CSI: American Carnage (Friday, January 31, 2020)
WASHINGTON – Gimme the chips, Stevie, just push that stuff aside and put em here, because this is the part where I give these people the real deal, they want to kill our cows, the radical socialist Democrats, just kill them dead, and you know what’s next. Stephen sweeps some small bags and containers onto the floor. He says, There’s still some stuff in these pill boxes. Donald says, I got a lot, just push them behind the table. There is a rustling on the floor in the pile neat the Executive Lounge fridge. Stephen knocks over a half-full can of Sobe Adrenaline Rush and sticks the bowl of chips next to the recliner. Hundreds of small insects pour out from under an old napkin and scurry to the floor. Donald tightens his wrapper, grabs a handful of chips, drops most of them on the floor, grabs another handful, and punches the remote. He says, It’s the Iowa rally. He pauses the teevee. Donald says, They love me in Iowa and when this circus hoax is done in this dumb fucking town with its crooks and liars and scammers, they’re gonna do whatever I say because, Stevie, they love what I say. They love what I do. Because, Stevie, this is the key, I stick it to em, and they don’t know where the stick is coming from half the time but they love it, they love it. They love it when I stick em. Donald punches the remote and watches himself in Iowa. Donald says to the crowd on the teevee: Those tractors — and I told you to buy your tractors — will be 60 years old if they have anything to do with it. They’ll be 60 years old. They’ll be old, tired, exhausted. Your land will be exhausted. You’ll be exhausted. We’ve ended the war in American energy. The United States is now the number one producer of oil and natural gas anywhere on Earth. The crowd cheers. Donald nods. He claps. He says, But the socialist Democrats want to shut down American energy. The Green New Deal would crush your farms, destroy your wonderful cows. ,I love cows. They want to kill our cows. You know why, right, you know why, don’t say they want to kill our cows. That means you’re next and they want to wipe out totally Iowa ethanol. They want to wipe it out, but we will never let that side get it, and by the way, that’s the least of it, but I don’t want to attack the Green New Deal because they might change it. But once you kill a cow, the cow is dead. You’re next. The crowd cheers. Donald beams. He turns all the way around and claps again, like a dancer, improvising. – Friday, January 31. 2020