CSI: American Carnage (Friday, February 8, 2019)

CSI: American Carnage (Friday, February 8, 2019)

WASHINGTON – Donald tightens his wrapper and settles into the recliner in the Executive Lounge. Stevie, he says, you tried these honey-nut salsa dips? Gimme a coke, will ya, they’re in the fridge. Kelly used to leave em all over, but Hec does a heckova job, right Hec? Hector remains mute in his wall cubicle. Stephen gets a coke and brings it to the president. Donald says, Boo hoo hoo. Poor Bozo. Let’s all cry the big tears for this clown who is wrecking this great country with his fraud schemes and sweetheart deals with his buddies in my post office. Fuck him. Stephen says, He’s shown no interest in resolving the crisis. He’s shown no interest in keeping the illegals out. He’s shown no interest in taking on the most pressing issues of our time. Donald says, Fuck him. He thinks it’s all about money. Just a grubber. By the way, did you see that pathetic dick pick? What a looser. Stephen says, No, I haven’t seen the pictures. Donald says, Talk to Matt, he can get you a set, if you want. Then, you know, I gotta say, why would you want? If I were Bozo, I’d try to keep anyone from seeing those pathetic pix with that itty-bitty weeny. Pecker’s right, Bozo should pay to keep those away from the public. But no. Bozo thinks he’s bigger than everybody else. He thinks it’s all about him. Sheesh. If I were Woody, I’d take him to the cleaners. Stephen says, Woody? Donald says, Yeah. Bozo, aka Mr. Clean, welshed on his deal to back Woody’s latest movie, Rainy on New York or something, Drizzling, Raining. So Woody’s suing him. I like Woody. We’ve had our differences, but I think he likes me. Do you think he does? Stephen says, I… Donald says, I’m pretty sure he does. Very smart, tremendously brilliant guy, Woody, unfairly attacked by the women, all these starlets and hangers on, they go after him because he’s, and creative, very creative with the imagination, unlike Bozo who thinks the world is made for him to eat. Fuck him. Stephen starts to say something, but instead grabs a nacho from an old bag on the floor and stuffs it in his mouth.

— Friday, Feb. 8, 2019