CSI: American Carnage (Friday, February 22, 2019)
ELYRIA, Ohio — Boris, who disappeared some months ago as the small strike force directed by Little Timmy, pup reporter, sought to infiltrate the West Wing, has turned up at the Grande Elyria Inne, where the strike force has established its base of operations. Boris says, I theenk we need to try and find Mohammed who ees now on hees way to border. But I do not want to go into the tunnels. I cannot stand the sound of the crying babies ripped from mothers’ bosoms. Eet eats at my Russian soul. The genial triple agent, famous in clandestine circles, despite the fact that being famous in clandestine circles is akin to not being famous at all, breaks down and weeps. He says, Eet ees Pooteen. He ees responsible. Sarah, Timmy’s friend from the resistance potluck, says, I do not agree. The responsibility is squarely on the shoulders of the autocrat. He is responsible for the babies. He is responsible for the policy. He must be held accountable. Boris says, Yes, this specific policy comes from the president and his henchmen, but they are part of the vast network, working to extract as much ruble as possible and gain as much control as they possibly can. Sarah says, This is very true. Behind the autocrat stands the huge financial network, the Deutsche Bank, the VBK, Citizens Bank, the Banc of California, the Sterling National Bank, the First Republic, City National, Federal Savings, Bayrock, Alfa Bank, Spectrum Health, the Kazakh money-laundering network, the 63 Russians who spent $100 million-plus buying property at seven Trump towers. And this does not even touch on the drug money that flowed into Trump Panama, the dozens of oligarchs, the communications companies, the security outfits, the hedge fund guys, the oil companies, the mafia, and on and on and on. To investigate the autocrat is to investigate the entire disgusting financial and corporate network that is crushing the planet. His tentacles are everywhere. No autocrat has been so ubiquitous. To bring him down, the elites and their investigators will need to bring down virtually the entire economic system. That is the genius of the autocrat. They do not need him to govern, which he cares nothing about anyway, they need him to keep the entire big top from collapsing on the circus. I say, Bring It Down. Boris rises as Sarah speaks. He says, I am with you, Sarahchik! First let us save the babies!
— Friday, Feb. 22, 2019