CSI: American Carnage (Friday, February 21, 2020)
WASHINGTON – A great crash comes from the rear of the Executive Lounge, rousing Donald from his revery. Sounds of scuffling follow, with more crashes and the clang of cans tumbling over each other. Hector! Hector! Get the goddamn shovel and smash those fuckers, Donald shouts. He turns to the figure seated in the Queen Anne side chair. Donald says, Nothing to worry about. Hector will take care of it. Repeated whirs sluice through the back room as Hector seeks to penetrate the wall of mold blocking him in without success. Donald says, You know, Sophie, what kind of a name is Sophie? Nobody’s called Sophie anymore. The figure is silent. Her eyes stare blankly at the teevee. Her mouth seems permanently shaped in an “oh!” of surprise. Her cheeks, with their red rose painted on, are slightly deflated. Air leaks from a pin-size hole in her finger tip. As it seeps from the finger, her increasingly attenuated body slowly deflates and her once-bulbous breasts sag like old balloons. Donald doesn’t notice. Sophie, he says, I’m thinking of bringing Conan in. You remember the dog, great dog, Conan. Sophie slowly deflates as air escapes. Donald continues, When we took out, right, we love Conan, Conan’s a tough dog, but when we took out al-Baghdadi, Conan, remember this, Conan got more publicity than President Trump. That’s OK. They were looking for al-Baghdadi for 16 years. We found him, and we took him out. And last week, last week, we killed another one last week. The head of Al-Qaeda, he was gone, dead. And America is respected again, respected like never before. We’re respected again. We’re no longer the laughing stock that gets taken advantage by every country, including, by the way, our allies who, in many cases, take bigger advantage than our enemies. And he was writhing on the floor, no, no, no, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, and, it was a mess, disgusting, Drool and you don’t want to know, Sophie, you don’t want to know, you don’t want to know, but we don’t care, we don’t care who the hell it is. We’re going to win. We’re going to win. We have to. But let me tell you, these crooked politicians, they really took away three years from us because despite the fact, and nobody disputes it, that we’ve done more in three years with the tax cuts and regulation cuts and the military and the choice and everything, we’ve done more than any administration in history. Crooked Hillary spent at least three times more than we did and lost. Crooked as hell. She’s crooked as hell. We have a double-sided justice. It’s very unfair, what’s going on, very unfair. But let’s see how it all works out, Sophie. That’s your name, right? Sophie. Sophie. Let’s see how it all works out. I hope you’re going to be happy. I hope you’re going to be happy because there are a lot of dishonest slimeballs out there, dishonest scum, dirty cops, a lot of dirty cops. And there’s Schiffty and Nervous and the rest of their filthy gang, dirty, and they are about to get a big surprise, right, right Sophie, a big surprise. Come here baby, I wanna show it to you. Big surprise. – Friday, February 21, 2020