CSI: American Carnage (Friday, August 9, 2019)
BENEATH THE CENTRAL PLAINS – Despite the proliferating tornadoes that are ripping through the corn fields, tossing aside tractors, tearing the roofs off barns, and laying waste to the countryside, the Dark Ones sit within the Dispensary of Damage Control, a key part of the vast central plains complex. Around the room, set on shelves in perfect order. are bottles of bromides, rolls of platitudes and clichés, boxes of QuikBuild stonewalls, and various other nostrums designed to heal the damage from exposure and investigation. The elder brother, fiddling with a stray banality, says, It is the most rank incompetence, my brother, although the Gambler Showman is seeking our approval and blessing. But he has bungled yet another effort. The younger brother, examining a tangle of commonplace buzzwords, says, Yes, my brother, it’s rather touching. He orders the raids on the Mississippi chicken makers, those who owe us nearly $4 million in fees, and arrests all the dark servi, the ones who, in the words of the vassals in Congress, look funny – all to please us. Did you see the servi and their teevee stenographers gushing over the fate of the children who are now left alone without parents or caregivers? The elder says, I did. At first I thought this is an unwarranted intrusion of state power into the daily lives of the free servi. But then I realized that it was simply the Gambler Showman blundering around. The younger says, Yes. He believed that the Mississippi plant, this Koch Foods plant, this Chicago-based chicken picker, belonged to us! Not so! It has nothing to do with us – except as a typical debtor and miscreant. The chicken picker owes the so-called state nearly $4 million in fines for its deplorable but profitable labor practices. The elder says, The fine is unconscionable. They treat their workers like the chickens they are dismembering, but what of it? That is their problem. The fine is our money, it is owed to our government subsidiary run by the vassal Mnuchin, and this disruption will slow payment. The Gambler Showman, in his zeal to serve, has shown a rare ability to blunder. We do not owe the money, therefore disruption of operations will not help us avoid payment; rather, it slows payment! What an idiot! Now, with the servi wringing its collective hands over the unexpected but predictable killings in the cities, we may have to wait who knows how long to collect our money. The younger says, We have heard nothing from the Hoosier Puppet about any of these doings. That is unacceptable. I think it is time we call him to account. What are we paying for if not for his complete servility? The elder says, An excellent point, my brother. Perhaps he should be plucked and carved into parts and then stuffed into a plastic bag for sale by this Koch Foods. Father would be amused. I shall dispatch a courier to rein in the Puppet and bring him before us for some answers. – Friday, August 9, 2019