CSI: American Carnage (Friday, April 17, 2020)
WASHINGTON — You know, Donald, says to the Good Doctor, this is really not so bad. He shifts in his chair in the conference room off the Oval. Donald continues, I have been telling them that. You go from 2,400,000 dead, which is really an undercount, to 1,000,000, and then from 1,000,000, which is very low ball, to 600,000 and then below 60,000, what is the problem? This is a fucking pandemic, as I said. So, we’ve already saved, if you look at 2.4 as low, when it really should be 3.5 or 6, something like that, we have performed a miracle. We have saved almost 6 million lives, okay, better than World War Two by a lot or at the least, nearly two million, also a lot. And they’re still yelling with the hoaxes and the Fake News™ and the disgrace. Doctor, you don’t mind if I call you Doctor, do you, because unlike Sleepy Joe you’re a doctor, with the degree. The Good Doctor says, Not only did this pandemic give you the opportunity to save countless lives, but with the cure you’ve identified, you’ve introduced millions of Americans to the miracle of hydroxychloroquine, which is an effective weight-loss medication, is extremely useful in helping addicts kick their habits, promotes cardiac health, and heals the liver. If this pandemic had not swept across the world, many would never have discovered hydroxychloroquine, one of the last of the great miracle cures from the hey-day of radio. Donald says, It is also effective, they say, in fighting the mental, which a lot of people are realizing they’ve caught from this quarantine. The Good Doctor says, Oh yes. Donald says, Going back to work, opening up, that would be beneficial. Betsy, who works for me, says her people in Michigan have organized many who have been told to stay at home. They are not producing and they want to. They want to get back on the line and into the stores and behind the registers. You can’t have the cure become worse that the solution. We need to get these factories and stores open, for the American people. People need to work, especially if they have the proper identity cards. They need to buy. The Good Doctor says, Yes, yes. It is a terrible blow causing great trauma and loss of self esteem. Donald says, That’s not what this country was built for. The Good Doctor says, No. You are on the right path. First, we need our mojo back, Lets start with things that are really critical to the nation where we think we might be able to open without getting into a lot of trouble. I’ll tell you, Schools are a very appetizing opportunity. I just saw a nice piece in The Lancet arguing the opening of schools may only cost us 2 to 3%, in terms of total mortality. Donald says, only 2 percent? That’s doable, it’s in the ballpark of doable. Besides, we need to open up in New York, and we gotta stop carrying California. Let’s get Mitch in here and talk about what districts we can work with. – Friday, April 17, 2020