CSI: American Carnage (Dec. 29, 2020)
MAR-A-LAGO — Everybody here, Donald says, looking around the conference table in the office off the dining room. The golf course can be seen out the window, it’s palm trees shedding their skins and exposing vermin hugging the trunks. Lin says, Rudy’s in the bathroom. Donald says, Okay, Lin, go ahead. Lin says, The Nashville bombing is a gift from the Chinese, we are certain. Donald says, The what? Lin says, The bombing in Nashville. This guy, Anthony Quinn Warner, lives in Antioch, Tenn. Okay. Kyle Rittenhouse lives in Antioch, Ill. Donald says, Okay. Lin says, The ragheads sacked Antioch before they sacked Nazareth, okay. Connect the dots. Donald says, Okay. Nazareth. Nashville. Lin says, Yes. The bomb destroyed the AT&T data center in Nashville. AT&T cell and wi-fi signals which access the internet were used in connection with Dominion voting machines, although you know as well as me that it is unlawful for voting machines to be connected to internet. Donald says, It is. There are very smart people working on this. Go on. Lin says, The ATT building was owned by Cerebus Capital. The owners of Dominion Voting Systems are former executives from Cerebus. As Q says, there are no coincidences. This explosion has a lot to do with electoral fraud. Connect the dots. Donald says, Cerebus, electoral fraud. Lin says, Were there military black op missions going down in Nashville? Donald says, I don’t know. Lin says, Was the ATT building a Patriot Act listening hub? Did Dominion use building servers for voting-record storage? Donald says, What about this gift from the Chinese? Lin says, Georgia. Georgia machines are connected to China. Now ATT, which monitors Georgia, is blown up. Syd is investigating the Nashville destruction of the computer super-coolant and…. The door opens. Rudy bursts in buckling his belt. He zips his pants. Donald says, Rudy, it looks like the Biden gang, most likely that little weasel Hunter, are working with Xi to pump up Hunter’s old man. Lin, did the explosion damage the Grand Old Opera House? Lin says, I don’t know. Donald says, Maybe they avoided that. The Chinese. Rudy says, With all due respect, I don’t think the Chinese would waste their time on this. Donald says, Who knows? Nobody knows. Lin says the Opera House was not destroyed. Rudy says, Look we have Louie working hard now and he’s come up with a very important new legal angle. Donald says, Okay. Rudy says, It’s very simple. It’s beautiful. He’s gone to court, right, and he is saying that Mike can call the shots in Congress on Jan. 6. Donald says, That’s what I think too. Mike is loyal. Where is Mike, anyway. Lin says, He’s on vacation in Spain or Aruba or some place. Donald says, I want him here, dammit! Get him here. He needs to be here. Rudy says, Don’t worry about it, ok, he’ll be here, ok? So on the sixth, with Mike in charge, he just ignores the electors from the swing states and calls on our electors, who vote for you. Bingo. You win. It says so in the 12th Amendment. Donald says, I win in the Constitution. That’s what I’ve been saying for weeks, but the fucking courts, and that cunt on the Supreme Court, they don’t want to hear it. I made those mother fuckers. I MADE THEM! Rudy looks down at the conference table and waits. After awhile it is quiet except for the heavy breathing. Rudy continues, So Mike controls the opening and counting of the votes and with competing slates of electors or where there is objection to any single slate of electors, Mike alone picks which electors’ votes or whether none should be counted. Donald says, None? None? My votes should be counted. They are the only votes that should be counted. Rudy says, We all agree on that. The only way to bust up this fucking ring of crooks and traitors is to use the courts and the law. You know, hoist them on their own petard. Then we all laugh and come back here for at least another four years or so. Donald says, Hoist them on what? Rudy says, Their petard. Donald says, They got one? Rudy says, Sure. Donald says, What about the Chinese? Rudy says, There will be plenty of time to take care of them. Donald falls silent. His cell rings. He says, I gotta take this. You all go ahead. Dec. 29, 2020