CSI: America Carnage (Sunday, January 19, 2020)
PALM BEACH – Donald lines up his putt, which faces a small obstacle presented by a golden lamp next to his sparkling taffeta love seat with its white French accents painted by Jaré des Seins, once in great demand on the island, before the unfortunate incident. Donald says, I’m telling you, no fucking wall around Manhattan. Are you fucking kidding me? Look terrible. People gotta just use mops and buckets. That’s what climate change comes to — mops and buckets. But these idiots don’t like the idea, so they talk catastrophe and all that bull shit. Look Dershy, we want to use ya, okay, this will be the greatest case of your career, okay. This is Perry Mason stuff. But I gotta warn ya: Don’t bring up any bullshit about little girls. Don’t talk about the Lolita Express, don’t mention tits, don’t talk about nothing like that. Cause I’ll let you in on a little secret: Judge Jeanine is ready to jump in if you fuck up and bring up the girls. Alan says, Why would I do that? Donald taps his putt, which breaks hard to the left and rolls under the Louis XIV accent chair. Donald says, Shit! He sticks his putter under the chair and moves the ball. He says to Alan, Because you’re one of these guys who thinks that people don’t know. Lemme tell you, People know. Okay. People know. They just don’t know what is is they know, but they know it’s something. I can’t believe I’ve gotta say this to a Harvard fucking lawyer. Rudy? Whadaya make of this? Rudy says, Forgedaboutit. Donald says, I know. These cocksuckers squeeze ya by the balls and then they check the fucking bus schedules and throw ya under. Alan says, I got your back. That’s why I’m here, not to talk about what went down with Jeff and the pipeline from Comet Ping Pong. Donald says, That’s what I’m talking about. Just keep your fucking mouth shut on all of that. Alan says, They can’t take a shot at nothing you’ve done. Clean as a fucking whistle. Constitution can’t touch you. Nothing like Clinton. Blow-jobs. Just little Suzy. Donald says, Shut the fuck with that. Rudy says, Forgedaboutit. Alan says, Hey, we got a whole team – Me, you, Ken. The Three Amigos. Oooo, baby. This is going to be one juicy trial. One juicy trial. – Sunday, January 19, 2020