CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, March 12, 2019)
The Fox anchor in New York intones, The smell of bleach hangs over downtown Calexico today, as federal health officials tackle the persistent problem of border infestation. In the executive lounge, Donald watches from his recliner. The news personality continues: Here we see able bodied workers participating in the president’s new Cadillac TrumpCare program teaching a few children waiting in the EducationZone for processing through the Infestation Chamber. These well-trained teachers, supplied with walkers through the president’s RollingWork program, happily provide the first schooling these illegal children have ever received. Welcome to the United States of America, little guys! The president says that anti-infestation efforts will continue until the area is cleansed of all swarming invaders. Donald then appears on the screen. He says, We are not going to give in to political grandstanding by the socialistic, disgraceful Democrat party, which is what they are, they want a party, but this is serious, and we are going to wipe out this infestation. When we are done, we are going to be completely bleached, and the education, the education will be tremendous, and a lot of people who we have invited to leave, will be gone. And the sheets will be white. And golf will come back even bigger than before and it is big already, believe me. Donald watches. He eats a fry. The announcer says, Back to you Steve. Meanwhile, in Calexico, Jumbo’s bus pulls into the far end of the parking lot outside a vast tent city. He stops, licks his lips, checks his revolver, and turns toward Sarah and Timmy in the back. He says, Hey guys, we’re here. Before we check in, I got something I want to show you. He removes his revolver and moves toward the back of the bus. Outside, a federal van pulls up. Several moon-suited agents jump ou and throw open the doors. The Times Guy and the Post guy emerge, hands on their heads. Timmy and Sarah see them through the bus windows and begin banging. Timmy shouts, Help, Help! The agents guarding the reporters look up. The Times guy says to his friend, Do you think we should intervene? After all, we’re objective journalists. Neither wait to answer. They storm the bus, push open the door and grab Jumbo. The agents outside, who have been struggling to remove their moon suits, look around. Hey, says one, where’d they go? The Times guys wrestles Jumbo to the floor and puts his hand over his mouth. Sarah says, The autocrat will stop at nothing. But our one defense is his pervasive, corrupt stupidity.
— Tuesday, March 12, 2019