CSI: American Carnage (Monday, February 18, 2019)
PALM BEACH — Lindsey tells Donald not to worry. We are moving on these little communists, he says. We are not going to allow the great mission of your presidency to be derailed by these goddamn kids. Donald says, I got you on speaker. Jare may be dropping by, Stevie, Tiger. Lindsey says, This is exactly what happens when you coddle these kids. They get this idea that we should be working for them. I’ll tell you Mr. President, they think they know better than we do. They think they can just do whatever, then we have to come along and clean up the mess they’ve made. That’s the way it is with these Florida kids, the Parkland kids. What they need is a good kick in the ass, a shot to the gut, so to speak. Donald says, You hear about this latest little Florida thug? Lindsey says, What do you mean? Donald says, I’m talking about this fucking little 11-year-old, probably watching too much of the football or something. He tells his teacher he’s not gonna say the Pledge. Says it’s racist. Says it’s offensive to the blacks. Lindsey says, For Christ’s sake. Donald says, He’s not one of my blacks, I can tell you that. Probably brought in here because the Fake News™ is so full of hate. They want to get me. His teacher says, Why don’t you go someplace else to live, you don’t like it here. Good question, right? The little fucker says, No. Fortunately the cops came in and busted him, dragged him off to jail. Then the mother gets on the teevee and whines. Lindsey says, Sheesh. These kids think everything is about them. We got your back, though. They’re whining about money to build a frigging middle school in Kentucky being used instead for The Wall. Donald says, You gotta be kidding me. How many frigging middle schools do they gotta have in Kentucky? What do they need any of em for? What kind of education do you need to pound coal? Lindsey says, These people living in the hollers with their moonshine and the 11 babies, they need protection more than anything. They’re too fucking dumb to protect themselves. I would say it’s better for the middle school kids in Kentucky to have a secure border. Donald says, That’s just common sense. That’s what they taught me at Harvard. They taught the common sense. But these kids want their fucking schools, even if they’re fucking dead. For one thing, your school is like a fucking magnet, it draws in the shooters. Gets the little fuckers clustered all together in one spot for easy pickings. The Dems organize this shit. Once they got a bunch of dead kids, then they can go around and bitch about Trump. Trump did this. Trump did that. That’s what they’re doing with the thugs and rapists and MS13s pouring in on the border. Oh, they say, you can’t protect the American people from these murderous gangs. You can’t take these little small babies and rip them from their mothers. Trump can’t do that. Guess what. Lindsey says, What? Donald says, Trump can do that. Trump is already doing that. We got the work camps set up now too, so the ones that can lift a shovel and sledge, they can be fucking useful.
— Monday, Feb. 18, 2019