CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, December 2, 2018)
Dude, says Eric, I’ve got an idea. Don Junior. says, Whoa! Stop the presses! Okay, okay – I apologize; that was mean. What’s up? Eric says, Okay, here’s the deal. Now that Pappy’s dead, we got a clear shot at an alliance with his family. Our two families can then take out these grifters from Arkansas. We can take them out and then divide the country in half, like a loave or a fish. We take all the cities and major markets, Pappy’s associates and family take some other stuff. Don Junior says, That is an interesting idea, Eric. The three families would become two. The Arkansas people would just fade away. Dad always said the American marketplace divides into a natural duopoly – Coke, Pepsi; Hertz, Avis; Trump, Trump. That kind of thing. Problem is, Dad has never tried to maintain decent relations with Pappy or his family. Eric says, Oh, you mean the time he tweeted that the last thing we need is another Bush in the White House. Would be the same old thing (remember “read my lips, no more taxes”). GREATNESS! Is that what you mean? Don Junior says, Yeah, that was similar to the time he tweeted, The last thing our country needs is another BUSH! Dumb as a rock! Goes further than that, Dad said he was never a defender or a fan! of Pappy’s. Remember that time he pointed out that Jeb Bush never uses his last name on advertising, signage, materials etc. Is he ashamed of the name BUSH? A pretty sad situation. Go Jeb! Eric says, Dad gave it on the chin, too, to W, “the Moron,” when he said now that George Bush is campaigning for Jeb(!), is he fair game for questions about World Trade Center, Iraq War and eco collapse? Careful! Don Junior says, That was nothing next to what he said about Jeb, He said Jeb Bush is crazy, who cares that he speaks Mexican, this is America, English !! Eric says, So I was figuring, Dude, that if we take out Marc “the Jew” and Bill “the Lip”, the Arkansas family will crumble. We take over and go after the Witch Hunt. Don Junior puts his forefinger to his temple. He says, I think Dad is already way ahead of us, as usual. He tweeted out yesterday that President George H.W. Bush led a long, successful and beautiful life. Whenever I was with him I saw his absolute joy for life and true pride in his family. His accomplishments were great from beginning to end. He was a truly wonderful man and will be missed by all! Eric laughs. Har har har! I think Dad’s gonna go for this new idea. Har har har. Beautiful? Joy? Wonderful? Har har har. Don Junior says, Let me tell you, like Dad always said, Politics is like war. Eric says, Yeah. I heard him say that. But I think he said it the other way around.
— Sunday, Dec. 2, 2018