CSI: American Carnage (Nov. 12, 2020)
“There is no way any American institution, least of all the US military, could be used to bring down democracy.”
ELYRIA OH – The Professor and his strike force have released the blundering members of the Trump Army. Boris, genial triple agent, objected, but in the end, the Professor prevailed. What are we going to do with them? he wondered aloud. Boris responded, Dispose of them? They just go and assist Poohteen. This whole reek reeks of KGB. Release show we weak as in gunfight with knives, and so forth. The professor insisted, however, and the man and the woman finally hobbled off down Russia Road and disappeared. The strike force now sits around the shabby living room. Boris says, Thees ees no longer safe house. The Professor says, there are plenty of options. Trump has lost. There is time. Sarah, Timmy’s friend from the resistance potluck, says, Is there? How much time is there? The Autocrat depends on not being taken seriously – even at this late date. The Professor takes out his pipe, knocks it against a wall, and draws on it a few times. He says, You know, Sarah, we have come this far by ignoring the alarmists. Biden has decisively won the election. Sarah says, The Autocrat has mounted an increasingly aggressive campaign to undermine it, a campaign that has already garnered huge support from his base. It is backed by the Senate majority and Republicans everywhere. They believe, now, without question, cynically or simply foolishly, that this election has been stolen. That is the last barrier the Autocrat faces in his very successful effort to destroy the system of government. Once destroyed, the Autocrat will argue, yes, that only he can fix it. He has put his toadies in to run the Pentagon, including the guy who suggested Brennan be killed, and if not killed, maybe he should suck a gun. This is serious. The Professor says, Oh, Sarah, these are bumblers, all of them. A couple stumbled around on Nunes’ staff. What damage can they do? Everyone knows what’s going on. Timmy stands up, he says, Hindenburg knew what was goin onl Allende knew what was going on too. Mohammed says, Biden is no Allende. Timmy says, Of course not. I know that, we all know that. Sarah interjects, But the Autocrat has been very focused on making sure that 70,000,000 people do not know that. In fact they “know” the opposite. Thanks to the Trump ads, they think Biden and Maduro are comrades. Meanwhile, the Autocrat has praised Maduro as strong and that Guaidó is a baby. Boris says, No! Sarah says, Oh yes. The Autocrat cares nothing about ideology or ideas and beliefs. He embraces power like he embraced Little Kim. Mohammed says, Lil Kim? Oh my god! She is terrific. This is so sad! Sarah says, No. Not Lil Kim. Little Kim, the murderous dictator of North Korea. Mohammed says, Well, okay. I was really worried. The Professor says, Oh, Sarah, that is so alarmist. Hindenburg? Really? There is no way any American institution, least of all the US military, could be used to bring down democracy. Sarah looks at the professor and shakes her head.