CSI: American Carnage (September 5, 2020)
CENTRAL PLAINS – Deep beneath the wind-ravaged fields, where stalks of corn, torn from the ground by brigades of EF5 tornadoes, lie twisted and brown as bird’s nests, where towns have been leveled to the point where there are no longer towns, where former citizens and shopkeepers lie one atop the other, carrion for whatever passes by, hungry, the Dark One sits, cocooned by the Memento Mori Mausoleum, now his most favored spot within the vast Central Plains complex. At one end of the room, the remains of his brother once sifted down forming a small pile of dust and bits of leathery skin. But the piles have been sucked away by the HVAC filtration system, upgraded since the coronavirus pandemic settled in all around above ground. The Dark One appears lost in contemplation as a large video screen shows a press briefing. He glances at the screen and whispers horsely to the empty room, My brother, if you were here, how much you could say about the performance of the Gambler Showman! How much insight you could bring to bear on this latest play. Will he, like the old, beloved Tail Gunner, overplay his hand? Or has he performed so well that he rules the airwaves and everything else? There is silence. From the screen, Donald says, There is nobody that feels more strongly about our soldiers, our wounded warriors, our soldiers that died in war than I do. It’s a hoax, just like the fake dossier was a hoax. Just like the Russia, Russia, Russia was a hoax. It was a total hoax, no collusion, just like so many other things. It’s a hoax. But we have many witnesses and it’s a total, it’s a total, it’s just a continuation of the witch hunt so that it can hopefully affect the election. But the American people are too smart. So whether it’s the fake dossier that turned out to be a total fraud or so many other things, so many other things have turned out. I’ve been under investigation from before I even got elected. These people have gone after me more than any president in the United States in history, in the history of the United States, in the history of the world. And it’s a shame, it’s a shame. And despite that, we’ve done more in the first three and a half years than any administration. The third quarter will be at a level that our country has never seen before. Next year, we’ll go going to have a year that was better than last year. And I feel very certain. It will be better than last year. It’ll be the greatest year we’ve had. Thank you all very much. Donald stands at the podium. A reporter asks, Do you stand by Robert Kelly’s grave and say to his father, I don’t get it. What was in it for them, sir? Donald turns and walks away. The screen fizzes up. The Dark One continues to look at it. He says, They brought down the Tail Gunner, as Father often complained so bitterly. And the New York Jew lawyer the Showman loves so much was a main reason. The Dark One shakes his head. The question is, he says, Can they bring down the Showman? We need him to juice oil prices before it’s too late. The theft and audacity already is monumental. We need an end to it. They will stop at nothing. My Brother! My Father! Oh, I am so alone! – Saturday, September 5, 2020