CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, July 12, 2020)
WASHINGTON – Dad, dad, says Jare, we’ve got the assets, we need to leverage them. Donald and Jare are in a conference room off the Oval. Donald is working on his putting. He says, Jare, don’t you think we could better maximize the profit by breaking it up and selling the assets one by one? It’s called liquidation. Liquidation. A very great word. Liquidation. Donald taps his ball, which jags far out to the right, missing the hole by a good two feet. Goddammit! This fucking building! Jare says, Sure, dad. We divest the whole island it’s gonna cost us. Those sharks will be all over with the inspectors. They want this. They want that. Donald says, Look, we’re not putting any dough into that shithole. You break it up. Say, outsource the electric, outsource your garbage, sell off the water pipes, you know, and shit like that, the workers, lease em, better than selling, you get the income stream. You do that, then you got something to talk about. Jare says, None of that stuff’s functioning now. Donald says, So? You want to make a deal, you make a fucking deal. What about the bonds? We get the bonds out there? Jare says, It’s maxed to the limit and beyond. The fucking place is sinking. Donald says, Who would build a fucking island right in the middle of Hurricane Highway? Stooopid. Jare says, Don’t I know. We can use the cash we get from selling off the island and put it into Trump SuperTower. Jare says, Denmark’s pretty firm about not selling, by the way. You can’t begin the Trump SuperTower build out until you secure the underlying asset. Donald says, What about a swap? Would they go for a swap — their icey, unpopulated wasteland for a tropical paradise fixer upper? All they got are fucking penguins. We got labor. Labor is big. We built this country with the labor. Didn’t pay a dime. Jare says, That’s a possibility. Donald says, What about a worker carve out? You gotta be flexible if you want to do a deal. You got the numbers on the water and the sewer? You got the numbers on the waste hauling? Joey in AC knows some guys who are big into waste, okay. We grab them, and rinse some cash for Oleg, you know, a pass through type of operation. Sergei says they are all in – as long as we can provide the usual types of services. Jare says, I don’t think that will be a problem. With Oleg, he’s very flexible. Donald is lining up his next putt. He taps it and again it doglegs far to the right. Goddamit! Donald tosses his putter aside and turns to Jare. Donald says, Who says they own it? Jare says, What? Donald says, They may not have clear title. Jare says, They invented the danish there. Donald says, So the fuck what? Look, they do the deal and we’ll find something else for them, Chicago, Alaska, something that’ll make them happy. Our island’s got people! That should count for something. – Sunday, July 12, 2020