CSI: American Carnage (Friday, May 8, 2020)
NEW YORK – Alright everybody! Doocer is enthusiastic as he looks at the camera. We are ready! Brian, are we ready? Killer says, Go for it! Doocer says, Ainsley? Ainse says, Oh yes! Shouts and hoots come through the teevee. USA! USA! Lock her up! Lock her up! Alright, Doocer says, Mr. President, are you ready? Donald on the phone says, I’m ready. I’ve been ready for, I don’t know, awhile now. Doocer says, Ok! Then let’s play Scum, Not Scum! You know the rules. Donald says, There are rules? Doocer says, Well we have to fit it in before break. Donald says, Alright. You’ve got to make money. That’s what it’s all about! Doocer says, Pelosi! Donald quickly says, She’s scum. Doocer: Schumer. Donald says, Definitely, scum. Doocer: Comey. Donald, We’re talking big time scum, covered with crud. Doocer: McCabe. Donald: Scum. Real scum. A bell rings. Doocer says, Alright Mr. President, That’s four. Donald says, Four scum, and we’re just getting started. Doocer says, Are you ready for our lightening round? Donald says, You gimme names, I’ll call the scum. Doocer: Mueller. Donald, Total scum. Doocer: Strzok. Donald: Sleazy scum. Doocer: Page. Donald: Female scum. Doocer: Schiff. Donald: Scummy. Doocer: Wray. Donald says, Ahh. Wray? Ahh. Scum. Scum. A bell dings. Doocer says, That’s five scum calls. I’ve got to say, Mr. President, you’ve done better. Donald says, Whadaya mean? That was the best. Who else has named 10 scumbags in less that 20 seconds? Who? Nobody, that’s who. What is the matter with you people? I name more scumbags in less time than anybody. Doocer say, Alright. We’ll have the challenge round. You know how it works. Donald says, Yes, I do, Steve. I am ready. Doocer says, Alright. Here it is. Biden. Donald says, Scum. Romney, Donald says, Terrible scum. Doocer: Hillary. Donald says, Queen of scum. Obama. Donald gags and finally says, Scum of Scum. A bell rings. Doocer says, That’s four. And I’m gonna give you Obama as most disgusting scum. Donald says, That’s right, Steve. Obama. Donald gags again. Obama is the worst scum. Doocer says, You nailed it sir! A total of 13 scum calls in under 20 seconds, that’s a record! Mr. President, you’ve done it again! 13 disgusting insults in less than 20 seconds! Mr. President, you remain King of Scum! Donald says, 14, Steve, 14. Nobody can top that. – Friday, May 8, 2020