CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, March 22, 2020)
WASHINGTON – The hooded figures file silently into the cathedral, their eyes down, hands clasped beneath their robes. They move quietly into the pews and remain standing. A cowled figure in a robe of dark worsted with red piping down the front stands before them. He looks over the assembled figures, their heads still bowed. He says:
What plagues the land?
They answer:
The Chinese virus
Is Chinese food racist?
It is not racist at all.
Let is pray.
Where did this virus come from?
The Wuhan Institute of Virology BSL-4 Lab.
Who released it?
The Deep State.
Who released it?
The Chinese Communist Party.
Let is pray. Oh glorious father, we ask you to silence the liars and the deceit-filled factions. We ask you to spread the true word. We ask you to share the bounty of your information.
What plagues the land?
A hoax.
What plagues the land?
A very dishonest press.
How combat the plague?
We are very prepared.
How combat the Chinese virus?
Chloroquine.
How combat the plague?
Remdesivir.
What are these?
Game changers.
How combat the Chinese virus?
Prayer.
Let us pray. Holy father, prepare us to silence the terrible reporters with their nasty questions and the bad signals they put out to the American People. Let us end the inaccurate and dishonest reporting. Let us end the disgrace. Let us put an end to the media lies. Let us pray.
What should the media be?
Honest.
What should the media be?
Accurate.
What should the media be?
Quiet, quiet.
What is the plague?
The plague is hype. The hype is bull.
When will it end?
In April it will go away, miraculously.