CSI: American Carnage (Friday, November 16, 2018)
Due to raging fires in the west, which have cast a pall over the editorial complex, CSI: American Carnage will not appear today. This unprecedented situation is the first time fires sweeping over debris and garbage piles across the country have led to even a temporary closure of publishing operations. Editorial offices have been evacuated and employees are now sheltered in the Swarthmore College dining center. Ample food, counseling, and dry socks have been provided to the displaced workers. We are hopeful that regular editorial activities will resume following Saturday’s We the People rally on Independence Mall, which has been strangely unaffected by the fiery inferno. Indeed, federal officials seem unaware that fires are burning across the prairie and are now lapping at their doorstep. The Editors
— Friday, Nov. 16, 2018