CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, December 21, 2019)
IMPORTANT NOTICE!!
The Editors of CSI: American Carnage are engaged in a fact-finding mission to South Jersey where there are reports that the vacant soul of Rep. Jeff Van Drew has been glimpsed haunting abandoned casinos in Atlantic City. While The Editors are skeptical of such reports, they said that there is reason to believe that the hauntings involve more than “an empty suit” topped by a mindless head. They also point to Van Drew’s curious remark pledging his “undying” support of the president. “We are exploring the possibility that Van Drew’s soul has been extracted from his body, leaving a lifeless – but animate – zombielike shell, The Editors said in a statement. As a result, the daily report of CSI: American Carnage, will not appear today. The Editors. Saturday, December 21, 2019