CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, December 5, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Look, Doug, says Matt, the name thing is where we got them. They are back on their heels. The mall-rat moms, the small-town grannys – we need them and they don’t like it when the Democrat hit squad goes after the president’s kid. Doug and Matt are sitting in the Capitol Lounge talking marketing. Doug says, Have a beer. Matt says, Thanks. I’ll have a boilermaker. Doug says, Sure. You say these mall-rat moms are not gonna go for the Dems calling Don Junior names? Matt says, Well no. Not Don Junior. Who wouldn’t call Don Junior names? Har har har. I’m saying the small-town grannys are pissed with all the name calling. The mall-rat moms just want to hold onto their AR-15s, god bless em. I’ll have another boilermaker. Doug says, Sure thing. Matt says, We gotta push the slime about the Barron. Gotta get the addled truckers on their case. Ramp em up. The pea-brain singles, too. The cabin-based deer sluggers. Push the Barron thing, you know, dragging the president’s little kid through the mud to make a sick joke, rolling him around, abusing him. Child abuse has no place in the halls of Congress. They are sex offenders. Listable. Disgusting. I mean, Doug, this kind of abuse is worthy of demented dead-enders. Should rile up the president, too, provoke some tweets. I’ll have another boilermaker. Doug says, Sure. Aren’t the demented dead-enders our people? Matt says, Yeah. They will kick some fucking ass. Then we come back baiting the prissy law professors. The Dems won’t know what to do with it. They’ll bring in more of these people who know nothing about what went down. None of these legal eagles have been anywhere near Kiev. They don’t know nothing except how to call the Barron names. Gimme another boilermaker. Doug says, Sure. Matt says, Look, they don’t know the difference between Lutsenko and Poroshenko, you know what I mean. Doug says, Yeah. And Putzenko. Matt says, Ha ha ha. Good one. I’ll have another boilermaker. Make it two. To go. Doug says, Sure. – Thursday, December 5, 2019