CSI: American Carnage (Friday, November 8, 2019)
SENECA, SC – The Ghost of John McCain looks at Lindsey and says, Why don’t you talk to the Trump supporters for a moment. Go ahead, go ahead, say that you don’t know who they are, and you don’t know why they like this guy. Say: I think what you like about him is he appears to be strong and the rest of us are weak. He’s a very successful businessman and he’s going to make everything great. Say what you think: He’s a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot. He doesn’t represent your party. He doesn’t represent the values that the men and women who wear the uniform are fighting for. He’s the ISIL man of the year. He gets his foreign policy by watching television, the Cartoon Network. Lindsey protests. No, Johnny, no! No. Trump destroyed my candidacy! He wiped out my precious seven percent of the vote. I had seven percent, John. Seven! And he wiped me out. Took me out at the knees. Called me nasty! So I fought back. I didn’t vote for Hillary. No, no, no! Sad to say, I voted for Evan McMullin. Trump called me a publicity-seeking, disgusting liar after Charlottesville. How could I go on like that? Johnny, tell me? How could I continue? The Ghost of John McCain, looks at his old friend and shakes his head. Lindsey, he says, there is your moral compass. This is a man who thinks nothing of throwing our beloved Kurds into the shithole. That is where everyone who seeks his favor winds up. The shitpits. My beautiful Lindsey, you once had a larger purpose. Did he threaten to expose one of your secrets and thereby destroy your career? Lindsey shakes his head and says, No. I have no secrets, as you and everybody inside the Beltway well knows. John says, There is a universe outside the Beltway. There is Seneca, for instance, your Seneca. Lindsey says, It is a beautiful place, full of gentility. Look, says the Ghost. Lindsey looks out and sees himself, fingers stuck in his ears. I don’t want to hear it, he is telling a clutch of reporters. I don’t want to hear any more of this BS. It’s just BS, BS, BS, BS! There’s nothing there. No quid pro quo because, you know why? Because he’s too incompetent. He can’t hold a concept in his head. He doesn’t read. He doesn’t care. Lindsey turns to John and says, So? So what. I can say whatever I want. He doesn’t read, like I said. He gestures at the impromptu presser in the Capitol corridor. I can say whatever, he’ll never see it, and if he sees it, he won’t understand it. Plus, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care, why should I care? I just go out to the golf course and play a few holes. I’ll be there when the rest of them, Mike and Bill and Mick get tossed aside. I’ll be there and do you know what Johnny? The Ghost arches what’s left of his eyebrow. What? he says. I will run the show. Me. How sweet will that be? Publicity seeking, disgusting, nasty Lindsey Graham will be running the whole train. Just watch. – Friday, November 8, 2019