CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, October 10, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Stephen finds his way past the webs of gauzy green growing out from the garbage in the executive lounge, pushes aside an old container of sour milk on the counter, knocking it onto the floor with a clunk, and grabs the onion dip in the red sombrero bowl. He shouts, I got it! Donald says, Bring it over, will ya, I’m starving. Something moves in the shadows at the corner of Stephen’s eye. He looks quickly, but whatever it was has disappeared behind last night’s plates of tacos and bean whiz. He turns back toward the flickering light of the teevee and hurries into the front of the lounge. Donald says, Give it to me. He grabs the bowl and stuffs the chips into his mouth, wiping the inside of the sombrero bowl with his fingers to get the last little bit. Donald says, What are these little black pellets? Stephen says, I dunno, seeds. Donald nods and wipes his hands on his wrapper. He says, Look at this, he points to the teevee, which is on mute. These people ought to love me. I brought em the war scenes in the middle of the night. You know what war does for your ratings? It is the biggest. It is like fire in the gasoline, which they know about in the Middle East with these Kurds. There is a guy living in Jersey who is responsible for all this. Tayyip mentioned this guy. Tayyip is a decent guy, wonderful guy, you should talk to him, Tayyip they call him, but I call him Yip, kind of like Nip, but that’s got connotations, Yip. So he just needs to clean up the zone there. No big deal. Very easy. Stephen says, And they are going to run away to Europe, don’t forget. This is Europe’s problem, not our problem. Donald says, Not ours. Not ours. Biden is in the middle of it, they tell me. Biden could be responsible. There is a scratching sound coming from the gauzy area beyond the fridge. Stephen sits up and looks. But there is nothing visible. Donald says, They all hate each other. Hundreds of years. It’s a natural thing. You know a lot of these conflicts have to do with smell, most people don’t know that. They smell funny, not regular. So they can’t get together. That’s okay. We don’t have to get together either. Stephen says, We can’t keep solving Europe’s problems forever. You have to draw the line. You have to cut the cord. Donald says, We are cutting the cord. We are cutting the cord and I intend to do a hell of a lot more once Schiff and his shifty band of Jews are expunged from the Senate. They are going to be impeached. I’m not going to be impeached. They are going to be impeached. They are worthless, corrupt, traitors, disgusting, soiling our country. We are going to remove them. I got Joey on notice. Remove them with cement. Just like they used to do it before all these pansies took over. Anymore of these chips? I’m still really hungry, like a bottomless pit. – Thursday, October 10, 2019.