CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, September 25, 2019)
WASHINGTON — The Times guy and the Post guy are sitting in the Off the Record bar. It is late. The Post guy orders a couple of BrewDogs and tells the bartender, These are life preservers. The Times guy and the Post guy drink. The bartender says, Another round? The Post guy says, Make it two, barkeep, and a couple of chasers. The Times guy turns to his friend and says, She’s finally on board. The Post guy says, I dunno. Something’s going on. Donald’s people think they tricked the Dems into walking the plank. The Times guy says, Yeah, I know. I don’t buy it. My guess is they’ll try to get by with an edited transcript of the call and interplanetary spin from Donald, Mulvaney, Pompeo, Barr, McCarthy, Collins, and the rest of them. The Post guy says, I dunno. Don’t think that’ll work this time. The Times guy says, Plan B is to take Rudy and heave him under the bus. They’re already tooling that one up. Yeah, says the Post guy. They’re talking about Rudy freelancing his Ukraine schemes. The Times guy says, Yeah. They’re arguing that Rudy’s been working Ukraine for Manafort for a long, long time. Anything to get Manafort clear. Rudy is gonna go splat, I’m telling you. The Post guy says, Good luck with clearing Manafort. Geez. The Times guy says, The Trump judges are everywhere now. The Post guy says. Yeah. Rudy’s also been pushing Biden’s involvement forever. Goes way back. I think he saw Zelensky as an ally there. The Times guy says, Oh yeah. Goes back even further. They’re saying Rudy went after the former ambassador, fingered her as a Soros plant. Can you believe it? The Post guy says, I can believe it. Rudy also claimed that the former Ukraine ambassador should be investigated for collusion. The Times guy says, Don’t forget, right after that, Don Junior went after the ambassador, what’s her name? The Times guy says, Yovanovitch. Yeah, says the Post guy, Junior calls Yovanovitch Obama’s ambassador and demands she be kicked out of government. The Times guy says, She promptly gets yanked back to DC. The State Department people and people now say they were upset by that. So then Rudy goes back to Ukraine, says he needs to be helpful to Manafort, he just says it! And then he adds, like it’s an afterthought, he says he can also maybe helpful to his government. And Donald, what does Donald do? He goes on Fox and immediately starts attacking Biden and his kid. These guys. The Post guy says, So all these guys, so alarmed by Rudy, so alarmed by Donald, so alarmed that they work for him, they all are saying they feared any contact between Donald and Zelentsky, between Donald and Ukraine. It’s all Rudy’s fault. Rudy did it. The Times guy says, Barkeep! Three more. And one for Rudy who will be in any minute. – Wednesday, September 25, 2019