CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, September 12, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Stephen makes his way to the bear drop in Rock Creek Park. Two aides hold back branches and lay trench coats on puddles to ease his passage. Another aide uses a PowerFlash to show the way. They arrive at the drop clearing. Stephen says, Stop. We wait here. An aide says, Yes, sir. Twilight quickly comes on. Stephen says, What’s that fire over there? They look. Flickers from flames raised high can be seen just as the sounds of breaking tree limbs and crushed bushes can be heard. There is low growling. Stephen says, It’s him. About time. The sounds of broken shrubbery grow louder and the flicker flames can be seen as a torch. An aide shrinks closer to Stephen, who pushes him away just as the torch-lit figure breaks through the underbrush with a monstrous crash and a howl that echoes through the park. It is John. Aghh! he growls. The aide draws closer to Stephen. Stephen says, You’re late. I don’t like it when you are late. Aghh-ooo! John growls again, throwing down his torch and suit jacket. He begins to remove his tie. Aghh-ooo-aghh! he howls. He rips his shirt off and his undershirt and flexes his pecs. His upper body is covered with snaky, wiry hair. John tilts his head to the sky and bellows, Ahh-looo! The howl reverberates through the park as Stephen’s aides glance nervously back and forth. John kicks off his wingtips and removes his argyles. His pants come down. He is naked but for his boxers. The wiry hair covers him like silvery nails. Ahhh-looo-hah, he roars and steps to the center of the circle. In a deep raspy voice, John growls, Let it begin! He grabs a squirrel from a tree branch, rips it open, and stuffs the whole into his mouth. A bunny hops by. John grabs it, tears at its flesh, and drinks its blood, tossing away the carcass. Rats break from the bushes and swarm the bunny. John scoops them up and swiftly devours them. He growls, Do you have it? Stephen, holding his nose, says to an aide, Bring the bucket up and place it in the circle. The aide, quaking, grabs a bucket filled with yellowy grease and pushes it toward John. Stephen says, Alright. There it is. You can finish up now. Do you know how hard it is to render bear fat? I mean, we’re in the middle of Washington DC. Fortunately, our friends in ICE grabbed some from the Berks holding pen and passed it on to us. Now we pass it on to you, so you can be tough even as your power slips away. John grabs handfuls of the sallow ooze and rubs it across his chest and face. The stench is unbearable. Stephen covers his nose with a handkerchief. An aide vomits. Large insects appear from the darkness beyond the circle and crawl into the bucket. John dips his hands in the rancid soup and devours all. Arooo! he howls. It is the night of the tough moon! I am the toughest and all run from me! Stephen and his aides, all now with noses covered, begin to withdraw. Arrooghaa! John howls and continues to slather his body as the moon disappears behind a cloud. – Thursday, September 12, 2019