CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, November 6, 2018)
Washington. Donald and Stephen are huddling around the speaker phone in the Executive Lounge. It is very late, near dawn, in fact, on election day. Donald says, Nobody gives a shit about that moron. He’s out tomorrow. The other one is out, too, Miss Squishy Security. We’re gonna have some tough guys in here, very soon, very soon, timewise. Bannon, on the phone says, You gotta bring in somebody fast. Stephen, next to Donald, says, Maybe we shouldn’t wait till tomorrow. Everybody’s, like the Fake News™ is all tied up in knots about the election. They will bury the news about the shakeup. Bannon says, Get em out now. You should have moved earlier. Donald bristles. He says, Nobody told me the weasel was gonna recuse. You didn’t say shit, okay. You didn’t say a goddamn thing. And then all of a sudden, Magoo says, Oooo, I have a conflict. I have to recuse. Nobody said nothing beforehand. Stephen says, That’s incredible. Bannon says, It is. Move fast now or Mueller’s gonna bring the hammer down on Rog, on Junior, maybe Jare. A bunch of people. All the money shit’s gonna come out. Sergey’s shit is gonna hit the fan. Vlad. Donald says, None of that’s gonna happen. You know why? Stephen says, Why? Donald says, Because I scared the shit out of my people. Steve, where’s the caravan? Bannon says, They’re bedding down in Mexico City. Donald says, I hear they got scouts on the border already. Put that out. Scouts on the border. With guns, big ones. Find me a rape or two. Put it all out there. Okay. Now, what about the blacks? Do they think they can still vote? Stephen says, Some of them do. It’s unbelievable, some of them think they can just vote, like real people. Bannon says, You deploy the deputies to the polls in the target counties? Stephen says, Almost all of them. We’re still pulling in some guys for Gwinnett and a few others. We had a sidearm shortage, but that’s fixed. Everybody should be in place by the time the polls open. We’re ready. Donald says, Good. Good. I got this. I did this. I went out there and pulled these fuckers, these so-called candidates, over the finish line. You know, some say it was the greatest barnstorming tour in the history of campaigns, and I did it. We got the people behind us. We’re about to dump the wishy-washy assholes. We will build our people in the Senate and many say that I have saved the House. So now we wait. We’ll see what happens.
— Tuesday, Nov. 6, 2018