CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, August 6, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Okay, everybody, we are going to move ahead with Ben’s proposal to establish video game ratings and ban those that show the blacks and the Latins, Donald tells his assembled cabinet. Ben, I want to thank you for coming up with this great proposal. I think we can do it with executive action. Pat, is that true? Pat says, Well, we have some constitutional issues that you get into with racial banning… Donald says, they love me, they got the jobs. Nobody’s got them the jobs like I got them the jobs, so they’re gonna go along with it. Ben, you want to take that up with Mitch? Ben? Ben, startled, says, I can do that. With Mitch. My theory is that Mitch will do anything. There’s no problems now because the NRA has some issues. Donald says, They tell me they want to help. Ben slumps back, folds his hands on his chest, and says nothing. Donald says, Okay, we got the video games banned. Mick, we’re also gonna ban the mental illness people. It’s incredible when you have the mental illness people and they play the video games, so we are gonna move on that. We are going to move on many, many things. Betsy is going to take care of our major effort. We are gonna fortify the schools and the rec centers, like Sean suggested. If anybody hasn’t heard Sean, we have a special screening of his testimony. Hector, get the lights and do the tape. Hector rolls the teevee past Rick, who has his chair pushed way out from the conference table. Rick says, Hey, I need the room. Hector positions the teevee and turns down the lights. Donald works the remote. The teevee goes on and Sean appears. He says, Let’s stop school shootings, we’ll start there. Let’s stop mall shootings, let’s start there. I’d like to see the perimeter of every school in America surrounded, secured by retired police and military and I want guys to donate fifteen hours. I think we could cover every school, every hour — add a metal detector and I think we’re going to have better schools. Have one armed guard on every floor of every school, all over every mall, the perimeter and inside every hall of every mall. That’s where we start. Donald pauses the teevee. He says, It’s not just the Democrat Party that has the big, bold ideas. We’ve got them too. Betsy? Betsy says, I think this is not a job for volunteers. We need professionals in there. My brother can put together a professional plan for deployment of security forces in the schools, in the rec centers, in the malls, in the convenience stores and the downtown shopping districts and radial commercial districts, and residential if you want. Completely private. My schools will welcome the attention. Donald says, Okay, Betsy, that makes a lotta sense. This is too important to let the moment slip away without keeping this country as safe as it’s ever been. We need the private guys, the business guys in there. We are safe. But we are going to get a lot safer. – Tuesday, August 6, 2019