CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, July 30, 2019)
NEW YORK – The Post guy pushes his way into Langan’s, sees the Times guy and joins him at the bar. He says, Barkeep! A BrewDog and another for my friend. The Times guy says, It’ll never be Gough’s. Gough’s was the best bar ever. Drunken. Boozy. Stench. Raucus. You could always get a shot and a beer at 7 in the morning. And a cheeseberder. I remember finishing up on The Pentagon Papers, incredible rush, what a high! Neil and I walked across the street in the early dawn right into the welcoming maw of Gough’s. There were pressmen and mailers slumped at the bar. Charlie looked like he’d been there a week. Oh, you should’ve seen the bar in those days! The Post guy says, I didn’t know you were that old. The Times guy ignores him. He says, Now Gough’s is gone. 43rd Street is gone. Even the Bull Moose is gone. He lapses into silence. The Post guy finally says, You hear about Mitch? The Times guy says, Don’t spoil the moment with the talk about Mitch. What can you say about the guy? No, I didn’t hear. What’d he do? Usher Charles Manson to the Supreme Court? The Post guy laughs. No, no – nothing so dramatic. In our language, he lashed out at critics. The Times guy says, Mitch doesn’t lash. He ignores. He dismisses. He disdains, brushes off, rejects, avoids, and discounts. The Post guy says, They’ve been taunting him with the nickname Moscow Mitch. Poking him, prodding, needling, you know, and they finally roused, awakened, irked him. No! says the Times guy. What’d he do, give a speech to the empty Senate? The Post guy says, You guessed it. He called the election security bills he blocked partisan. The Times guy says, Did he mention McCarthyism? The Post guy says, He did. The Times guy says, Did he attack Obama? The Post guy says, He did. The Times guy says, Did he mention the huge strides he’s taken to safeguard our elections? The Post guy says, He did. The Times guy says, Did he attack the left-wing, communist press for reporting the baseless charges? The Post guy says, He did. The Times guy says, Did he chide the press for creating a toxic public discourse? The Post guy says, He did. The Times guy says, Did he discuss the $200 million investment that Rusal, the Russian aluminum company, is making in a new Kentucky aluminum mill? The Post guy says, He did not. The Times guy says, Did he mention that Russal is Oleg Deripaska’s play thing? The Post guy says, He did not. The Times guy says, Did he mention sanctions being lifted right before the $200 million fell from the sky? The Post guy says, He did not. Did he mention Oleg is one of Putin’s best buddies? The Post guy says, He did not. The Times guy says, Did he mention Putin at all? The Post guy says, He did! He said, and I quote, Over the last several days I was called unpatriotic, un-American, and essentially treasonous by a couple of left-wing pundits on the basis of bold-faced lies. I was accused of aiding and abetting the very man I’ve singled out as an adversary and opposed for nearly 20 years, Vladimir Putin! The Times guy says, Barkeep! Another round. – Tuesday, July 30, 2019