CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, July 18, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Stevie, Stevie, wake up will ya, this is the best part, Donald says. On the teevee, he tells the crowd in his best singing rally voice: Omar blamed the United States for the crisis in Venezuela. Think of that one. She looks down with contempt on the hard working Americans saying that ignorance is pervasive in many parts of this country. And obviously, and importantly, Omar has a history of launching vicious anti-Semitic screeds. The crowd begins to chant. Donald leans back at the podium, as though welcoming the morning sun. The crowd chants louder and louder: Send her back! Send her back! Send her back! Donald pauses and watches the teevee, rapt. He then resumes shaking Stephen who has slumped over on the small chair near the teevee. Wake up! Donald says. Wake up! Stephen rouses himself. He says, Absolutely! Donald reties his wrapper and says, Hey, you missed the part where I said she loves al-Qaida and ISIS and wants to destroy America and everything loved by Americans, which is a lot of shit, a lot of shit. You can check it out when we do the replay in a little while. Stephen nods. He says, Must be about 5 in the morning. It’s still pretty quiet. Donald collapses onto the recliner. He says, you know, it’s lonely at the top here. It’s true. Like this guy I know, tough guy, mean guy, rich, very rich. He came up to me, true story, believe me, and I said, How are you doing? Very warm, you know. Hey, how are you doing. Let’s get out of here. And he said, I’m doing good, you are doing good. I said, Yeah.I said, You know, you don’t like me and I don’t like you, I never have liked you, and you have never liked me. But you are going to support me because you are a rich guy, and if you don’t support me, you are going to be so goddamn poor, you are not going to believe it. True story, Stevie. I have friends — really good friends — and they’ve always called me Don, Donald. They call me anything, right. And you lose all of your friends when you’re president because they are all afraid to talk to you. Does that make sense? No, it’s true. I have guys, wonderful friends, New York developers, tough guys, smart guys. They are rich, middle-of-the road, poor. I have everybody. It doesn’t matter. Rich guys call, Mr. President, how are you sir? It’s Richard. Oh, hey, Rich. Listen up. Hey, Don, how are you doing, let’s go to dinner! Sir, you are doing good, sir? I said, Richard, call me Donald like you always did. Always call me Donald. Okay, thank you, Donald. Thank you very much. And then two minutes later, Mr. President, I’m so grateful. I lost all my friends! They have choked. Do you know what that is? They have choked. They can’t breathe because people have such respect for the office of the president. They can’t breathe. They can’t breathe. They can’t breathe. – Thursday, July 18, 2019