CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, June 1, 2019)
WASHINGTON — … and dumped him in the vat! Har har har, Donald laughs, Dumped him in the vat! Can you believe it, John-Boy? How’s that for swimming with the fishes? Har har har. John says, Muslims don’t know how to swim, which is exactly how we get at the Moolahs, because no one in Iran can swim. Donald says, Only my blacks can swim. John says, The Muslims and the Islam will all sink like stones when the dams break and the rivers rise. Like stones. The radiation can be confined to the urban areas, and with your neutrons, you have little damage to your infrastructure, only enemies will get taken out. No need for regime change — there won’t be any regime to change. Donald says, Yeah. I know. I read about it and Nixon wrote it all out and put it in the box, the one under the Lincoln baby bed, with the key. Nixon, what a jerk – he, you know, always left the key so anyone could get in. Big mistake, the tape on the door and the key in the lock and the tapes. Why not write on the wall: Dick was here, you know. Donald thinks about Nixon. He thinks about the ocean. He says, Lots of room in all that water. Lots of room for Iranian caviar makers. Fake caviar for the Fake News™. Little eggs. Fishy, you know, but always room with the fishes. John stares at Donald, who turns thoughtful, raising his hand and making a little O sign with his thumb and forefinger. He says, We’ll let Boris know what the hell is going on, okay. When we get there. Nothing on the phones. What the hell. Like Billboo said on the Fake News™ with what’s her name. John says, Jan Crawford. Donald says, Yeah, whoever she is, Bill tells her, he says, I think one of the ironies today is that people are saying that it’s President Trump that’s shredding our institutions. No fucking way, he says. Then he brings down the hammer on the nasty sonsuvbitches. He says, From my perspective the idea of resisting a democratically elected president and basically throwing everything at him and, you know, really changing the norms on the grounds that we have to stop this president, that is where the shredding of our norms and our institutions is occurring. So that’s serious. Billboo is serious. Is it treason? I don’t know. Some say it is. We’ll have to see. Billboo demands respect. Like Boris. Another B-Guy. Boris demands respect. He wants to do the right thing, you know, get his people out of this vicious thing with the Eurotrash. I’ve studied the whole thing, you know. What’s her face totally fucked it up. Totally. Boris is the guy who would do a very good job. He can do it, but he says he needs me. Great guy. But he can’t do it without me. And it’s not just Bobo that wants me, the Brits want me. I fixed so much shit. More shit than any president and Boris knows that. The Brits, they all love me, you know, even Meghan. She says nasty shit about me because she’s a Fake Brit, not like a real Brit, who’s got the stiff lip. Her lips are too soft and her body, don’t get me started on what she shoulda done about that. Maybe it’s not too late. But she loves me like they all do. She can’t help herself, you know, that’s why they’re gonna keep her under wraps. We’ll play along, you know, maybe we’ll sue, always something to make them think about. The Brits. Stiff upper lip, John-Boy, stiff upper lip. That’s what the Brits do. Total assholes. – Saturday, June 1, 2019