CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, May 26, 2019)
IMPORTANT UPDATE!
The Editors and staff of CSI: American Carnage are currently engaged in a development retreat designed to expand implementation of new systems technology and integrate it more fully with the ChipsAhoy!™ Marketing Campaign announced in 2016. Discussions have been productive and readers should immediately benefit once the new Campaign is fully integrated with CSI: American Carnage’s proprietary software programs. We have already added functionality and a more creative use of A/B Testing outside the parameters of previous protocols and enhancing procedures going forward. This should lead to greater bottom-of-the-funnel entrapment and a decline in bounce-rate escapees. All will be incorporated in the state-of-the-art CMS, already in the early stages of deployment. In the spirit of full transparency, now essentially standardized in the formal knowledge and procedural base, CSI: American Carnage and related entities will report the on-going efforts as they unfold in the future. It should be noted that a content-absorbtion field trip to the site of the former Elyria safe house was undertaken by The Editors during a break in discussions. We can report that the house is no longer standing. Conversations with those living nearby indicate that the safe house had been extant until sometime in the fall. At that point, following the sounding of “a high pitch whine” – or so it was described by one witness – and several bright, “staccato-like” flashes of light, the house vanished. A woman who lives in the area described the events as “very mysterious” and said the occupants of the house “seemed nice” but “kept to themselves.” She declined further comment. Local law enforcement officials said they had no record of the incident. One member of the Elyria Historic Preservation Commission said that sink holes have been opening up in the area along Russia Road since approximately January of 2017. She said she has been contacted by preservation activists in the area, but could provide no further information. What appears to be dense wood smoke occasionally rises from the decrepit fields stretching along Russia Road, but community members could provide no further information regarding underground activities. The Editorial Committee remains in the CSI headquarters and is monitoring events as they unfold in Washington and around most of the world – Sunday, May 26, 2019